#1: January Musings on Chaos
Hello All,
I’ve heard this word “chaos” quite a bit this week and I thought I’d share some my musings on its nature, invite you to consider your relationship with it and offer a few resources that I find help when the ground beneath me starts shaking.
Chaos, in its true nature, I believe, is a neutral force. I don’t mean in the way humans use this descriptor to justify or condemn violent actions or to judge situations. I mean it in the way that birth is chaos or that hurricanes are chaotic. They are unpredictable, they unmoor us, they disrupt and demand something of us. Neither birthing nor the winds of a hurricane can be ignored nor can this moment in time.
In 2020, before our eyes, we have seen our world change. This past week in the U.S. we witnessed, how nascent that change is and are confronted by the magnitude of the task ahead. We could name this past (and perhaps current) year – Chaos. A time of great unknown, a disruption to complacency, an interruption to the “normal” and ordered. Whatever your opinion on the current issues, I think we could all agree that we now find ourselves in the birth-death liminal space, the place of simultaneous beginning and ending, neither can be fully claimed and yet, each day life and living continues, as it always does.
What do we do? What do you do? What does it mean to live awake and aware in times like this? What have you noticed about how you feel, how you function in the midst of chaos?
"In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order." - C.G. Jung
Reflecting over my life and conversations with people I’m connected to I’d like to offer a few suggestions for the coming weeks, months and likely years. If you’ve noticed that some of your usual “go-to” actions aren’t working. You’re not alone. Here are some things I’ve noticed and what has proved to be supportive when it feels like the ground beneath us is shifting.
1. Know when you’ve had enough.
Can you tell when you’ve had enough, when you personally feel full? Full from information or input? Full from conversation or stimuli? Full from the energy, intensity and company of others? What are your indicators when you feel full?
I noticed this week while in conversation with a dear friend, I started to feel like our viewpoints were drifting further and further away. I noticed my inner dialogue to want to make him wrong, to dismiss his perspective and judge it. My response time got slower and slower, I started saying less and less and finding myself distant, almost complacent in the conversation. (You may express full in a different way like yelling and arguing). I started to wonder where we’d be at the end of the conversation but then I realized, I just felt exhausted--I’d had enough, I was full. I felt complete with the topic for that moment and now and it was time to let it breath and unplug so I pushed by back from the table of conversation, we agreed to take a pause. Often, we don’t know when we feel full and instead continue consuming/absorbing. When we continue on past this point, a type of burnout or disconnection often ensues.
It has taken me quite some time to learn what “full” means to me and then to act on it. Whether in conversation, watching the news, or in a relationship – do you know what your body’s signals of information/stimuli overload are? If you’re like me, it may not be dramatic signals but subtle ones like, sleepiness, brain fog, disinterest, glazed over eyes. Pay attention to when your body signals that it’s time to unplug or take a break and then do it.
2. Tend to your body. Do something Pleasurable.
When I experience any of these indicators, I know it’s time to digest and pay attention to my body. Just like after a meal, it’s time to take some time and let that information break down into smaller pieces, use what’s needed and eliminate the rest. When we unplug it gives us a chance to discern the information and provides an opportunity for our nervous system to restore. I do realize that unplugging or taking a break is easier for some of us but I insist, whatever your situation and means, take a break from all the reporting, images, scrolling and conversations. Even going to bed 30 minutes earlier or a 15-minute speedwalk will matter to your body. I ascribe to Audre Lorde’s view that self-care and pleasure is a revolutionary act. It is part of the action of change.
Our bodies need care and attention in this time. We need to nourish them, to care for them if we are to sustain our efforts. The lack of knowing what nourishes us sends many of us to “check out” in our lives. Things like binge watching a new series, drinking, pushing ourselves in work and other things that leave us with a type of malaise, dryness and hangover. I’m not judging – don’t misunderstand me – I watched the new Shondaland series in almost in one sitting, so I know what I’m talking about. It was what I could access in the moment. However, it did not help to digest the past week’s events. We binge until we can access another way.
What are some ways to you tend to your physical, emotional and mental body? What are your pleasure practices? What nourishes you? If you aren’t sure…now is the perfect time to playfully explore. I turned to simplicity. Sitting in the sun, a hug, my favorite meal, I made a playlist with a few friends which offered more connection, I called a friend, put my feet on the ground. Try some sensual things that engage your different senses, things that bring your awareness into your body in a visceral way.
3. Come back around when/if you can.
So I paused. Gave myself some space, put my phone down. And when I felt resourced again, and only when I felt shored up and had the desire to continue again. I did so. Not out of obligation but rather – I recognize that it’s a practice to come back around to the places of disagreement or dissension. I should say, this is a relationship that I value. He is a friend that offers to our relationship and so we both continue to work on it. For me, knowing when to pause, discerning where to invest energy and having good boundaries are essential. Boundaries, not barbed wire. Things are particularly polarized these days, if you are someone willing to do the work to bridge the gap, which I am, then whenever you can, come back around to the conversation in search of the understanding and where possible, compassion and connection.
A final thought
Chaos, while destabilizing, also brings with it possibility. Sometimes things in our lives get so fixed, rote, codified and the structures rely on the assumptions. Then chaos comes along to usher in a something new, another option, a new chance for something beautiful but first, it upends things in its wake. Chaos has within it an elegance, its own kind of order – a different set of principles. Where order seeks to get things back to the same track, chaos asks us to let go of something, to imagine, to surrender, to change our perspective.
What I’d like to offer here – is an invitation to engage with this neutral, elegant energy and the suggestion to let your body be the compass as you navigates its waters. Would love to hear what you discover!
Much love and blessings to you all…See you out on the seas.
Angela
Other Places to find me this month:
SATURDAY JANUARY 16, 2021
Meet the Goddess Within Mastermind - Guest Teacher.
This is self-care Mastermind for those working toward racial healing and ancestral restoration on their spiritual journeys. Meet The Goddess Within explores the intersection of three pillars: Self-Care, Racial Healing and Ancestral Restoration through the lens of goddesses found in the Black Goddess Within Oracle Deck, an exquisitely designed 13-card deck co-created with real women of the African diaspora. This week’s Goddess is Mami Wata, I’ll be teaching on the non-conforming feminine energy.
For more information on the next series in February or curiosity about the deck click here
SATURDAY JANUARY 16, 2021 @ 2pm PT - FREE
Community Healing Forum: Loving Our Nation to Wholeness
A Community Healing Forum to Speak your truth, Release Pain, Restore Wholeness, Step Into Power!
A rich, nurturing time to process, restore order, calm and peace through small group dialogues and tools for grounding. The healing forum is complementary and requires pre-registration. Register Here
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Kofi + Tii: An online creative café
Kọfi+ Tii creates a virtual cafe work environment that is conducive to creativity, inspired productivity, and connection. With the right amount of intuition, adaptability and research I’ve curated a work experience that offers undistracted work time and ambience to stimulate your creativity and to help you get more done in your day.
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